Komedy Koven

Friday, August 23, 2002

Keepin' it real

Snort! Posse Pops are a new line of ice cream bars aimed at, ahem, "urban" youth, with public-service messages printed on the wrapper, like this one: YEA BOYZ AND GIRLZ, CHECK THIS OUT! USING DRUGS IS WACK.

Rick Brown, CEO of Planet Ice Cream, the pop’s maker, is recruiting some of rap’s top acts to write more messages; he’s got Ice-T onboard already. “When I say, ‘Look, no matter what, you got to teach these kids the right thing,’ that reaches a lot more people than somebody square saying it,”

via la di da

Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Creative Writing
I'm tryin' to get me ol' noggin' back in shape by excercising that elusive "creative muscle," the imagination! So here's a tantilizing peek at my new book (inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons):

"Verily, he slayed the fell beast with one brave stroke, which did hew its mighty tail and bring the creature to a mortal end. Then, peering into the depths of the great cave Ensaladas, the elven warrior saw a gleaming of such magnitude that his cry did set forth across the plains and was heard echoing in the leaves for many ages to come. There he found a bounty the likes of which had not been seen since the downfall of King Lecithen, whose hoard invoked the wrath of many peoples in the last days of the Hoary Devistation. Included amongst this treasure was a +3 Sword of Thunder which does 2d8 electrical damage to flying creatures and speaks 4 languages: Common, Neutral, Giant Bat and Winged Caterpillar."

Pretty exciting, huh? Let me know what you think!

Monday, August 19, 2002
Grandmother Gets Run Over by a Reindeer
Juneau, Alaska (CNN) -- Florence Geller, an 86-year old retired fish gutter and grandmother of six, remains in stable, but serious condition after being trampled by an adult male reindeer near her home in Juneau, Alaska. Buster, her husband of 48 years, witnessed the attack from his porch deck, where he sat in his wheel chair and watched his wife picking flowers about two hundred feet away. According to Buster, the reindeer, or caribou, came out of nowhere and jumped Geller from behind, knocking her down a steep hill incline. The animal followed her and preceeded to kick her rib cage and tear at her flesh with its rabid teeth. Buster, who's legs were blown off in the Korean War, crawled out of his wheel chair and shuffled on his elbows for three miles to the nearest phone, where he called the paramedics. Geller is staying at Juneau Memorial where doctors are attempting to sew her ams and left ear back onto her body. The reindeer remains at large, and was last seen trotting toward Mexico.

we take off our pants... so you don't have to.