Special Music Review Edition
I, Howard, of television's "Howard & Chauncey Show," am well-known for being a hip, now kind of fellow, but even I get daunted strolling into the local album distributor outlet. I've noticed a trend toward smaller, shiny LPs in recent years. They cram so many of those little suckers into such a tiny space, they're packed in like Mexicans! Am I right? Okay, let's do this...
I like that Avril Lavigne
, even though she dresses like a man. She's got beautiful, shiny, straight hair and a look in her eye that says "I've been a bad girl." What? Her songs? Sure, I guess they're okay, but I just want to pull her over my lap and spank her!
, however, is a bad role model for our children, and I think all of her records should be banned. Just kidding! I'd like to give her a good rogering, as well.
Meanwhile, I see Elvis Presley
has a new one out, and it's selling strong! The Boss is back!
I listened to the new Sleater-Kinney
album at the behest of my daugher, and all I can say is: PMS anyone? Nooooooo thank you! NEXT!
I'm gonna go out on a limb, here, and suggest that Justin Timberlake's
penny-loafers have lost a few pounds, if you get my drift. If it looks like Michael Jackson and moves like Michael Jackson, then it probably smells like Michael Jackson
, and that young man smells like a fairy, if you ask me.
I've been having a hard time telling Britney Spears
apart, lately, but I wouldn't mind taking 'em both on at once (if I could just get my wife out of the house, for a change). Hoo-boy, you should see the rumps on those young ladies. My goodness.
Have you heard that new Xzibit
joint with Nate Dogg
? That shit is tight, y'all. I'm not frontin'. Did I say that right? Okay, my bookie is on the phone and I need a refresher for the ol' umbler-tay, if you get my meaning. Tune in next week for my word on the latest thing: "the discotheque." Don't get left in the dust, folks. Stay sharp!