Komedy Koven

Thursday, August 29, 2002
 
Brethren, hear my new record. Glory Be!
Brothers and sisters, Glory to the Holy in the Highest. As you know, I have 'resurrected' (laugh) our old high school jazz combo, Charlee and His Gentle Believers. Randy Everson setup his computer to record us in the basement - nott too loud, right Mrs Everson! (laugh) - and Lo and behold we've got ourselves an album. It's called "Phat Hymnz for Phat Timez" and we feel we're really going to touch the children with this one. Lord knows it's hard enough getting them to church 6 days a week, but oh do they like the music!! Well, here are the songs. Bless you all. Even the missus. (laugh)
charlee's prayer album
"Unbelievin' Bitch - I Kill You Bitch!"
"The Lord's Prayer (Randy's computer mix)"
"Godd Don't Take No Sass"
"J-to-the-E-to-the-SUS Means I Love You, Bitch"
"No I Di-unt! (But Baby, You Should)"
"Jesus Fucked a Ho for You"
--Intermission--
"Bluegrass Medley with Yamaha DX7 Interlude"
"J to the Izzo" (this one is a cover, not sure of who
           but my daughter would know)
"We Don't Care for Homos, Noooooonononooooo"
"What if God Had a Cunt?"
"Cocksuckin' Bitch" (Bonus Track)

I hope to see you all down at church next tuesday nite! We're having a study group with lyric sheets after the show to make sure "the good Message" got through, not just the snappy music. You know how sometimes children just like to dance and don't know if they're listening to the devil or whos-what. Amen and Glory to the Holiest of Holys!


 
dildo candyMMMM, DELICIOUS DILDO CANDY
"The Fr-ooze pop is a hard candy sucker in the shape of a dildo. When you squeeze the base, gooey sugary goodness oozes out of the hard, rounded tip. It's currently being marketed directly to children in Singapore via television ads placed on cartoon shows.

The advertisements show young children sucking hungrily on the candy, with the message 'squeeze and lick' repeated again and again."

The fine folks at Au'some Candies, Inc. are also encouraging children to stick beach tools in their faces. Might go well with some k-k-krunchy cheese-flavored Yasser Arafat Chips.

From pigdog.org and UsagiCam


Tuesday, August 27, 2002
 
gay beer and disabled kidTODAY'S KOMEDY KRISTIAN NEWS!
  • Anheuser-Busch sponsors festivals which depict sadistic homosexual violence, nudity and porn in public. Say no to Bud, Say yes to God. Read all about it on gaybeer.com!

  • No Mercy for the Disabled! "When the minister offered communion to the the servers, I noticed one of them was a little off-kilter... to say the least. Shorter than the rest of them, with sloped shoulders and a bowl haircut which barely was able to contain the large cowlick in the back of his head, he wore unfitted clothing which went out of style over a decade ago. Worse still, a large, silly grin beamed on his face from ear to ear below his upturned nose and his out of place eyes on his tiny little head. It was clear this boy was a retard."

  • Did you know that the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up because 6 of the 7 crew members used birth control? Neither did I! Read all about it on this page which also predicts some serious holy destruction on October 5, 1997.

  • Oh, and in case you didn't already know, Your Going to Hell [sic].

    Courtesy of Jeff P. and crank.net






  • we take off our pants... so you don't have to.