Komedy Koven

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Naked Juggernaut Assaults Children, Lawyers, Police, Sense of Place

A naked man broke into a West St. Paul day-care center with children inside and then barricaded himself in a law office across the street Friday morning. He was captured after more than an hour, but three officers received minor injuries during the incident. James Curtis Dawkins, 44, was charged with fourth-degree assault, criminal damage to property and two counts of burglary.

"I believe he … scared the kids. Here's a big naked man, screaming and yelling," said West St. Paul Deputy Police Chief Manila Shaver.

After Dawkins ran out of the day-care center, he got in the front seat of the officer's squad car, and the officer wrestled him out of the car. He and another officer were able to restrain Dawkins, but he "seemed very strong and impervious to pain," the complaint said.

Jeanine McMillen was outside, holding her 4-year-old grandson, Tristyn.
"I saw a bad guy," Tristyn said.

"But he's gone now," McMillen told him.

Tristyn has gone to day care there for about three years.

"It's really scary that it happened in West St. Paul," McMillen said. "It's not supposed to happen here. … It seems like an isolated incident, though."

Where is this kind of thing supposed to happen? Let's all hope she's right, that it was an isolated incident. I would hate to remember this as the summer when crazed, naked men ran amok in this fair land of ours.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

I know we're not supposed to laugh at murder, crazy people, or grocery baggers, but that's what the Koven is all about: laughing at what you shouldn't.

IRVINE, California (AP) -- Police shot and killed a sword-wielding man described by relatives as schizophrenic after he slashed and killed two former co-workers and wounded three other people at a supermarket where he used to bag groceries.

we take off our pants... so you don't have to.