Komedy Koven

Friday, September 05, 2003

Dear Strawberry,

Jesus, I need a drink. I just got out of a staff meeting in which I was forced to pretend to laugh my ass off at my boss’ jokes, which were relentless and horrible. I also had to listen to him knock one of my ideas (for which, on assignment from my other boss, I had already phone-interviewed someone and written a lengthy treatment) about a thousand times. I ask you, who’s got the attitude problem?

Springfield, Mass.



Alcohol will never solve your problems.  There are plenty worse things in this world than bad jokes, let me tell you, like having your face shoved in a prison toilet while a group of inmates takes turns on you, for instance.  That's a raw deal.  So when your boss doesn't like an idea, why you just go right out there and get another idea!  Show 'em what you can do with a little elbow grease and a determined mind.  I know you can do it, Chip, just like I did.  There's no reason to abuse drugs or alcohol when you've got a steady job and a positive mental attitude.  Heck, even if you don't have a steady job, or any friends, or a home, or even pets, or the simple ability to wake up every morning and face the day, God will see you through.  Take it from me, Strawberry Jackson, and the nice folks at State Farm Insurance.  Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.  Take care, little girl.

--William "Strawberry" Jackson

we take off our pants... so you don't have to.